Few from the last week...

I'm so stressed! My 'physical' stomach is getting an ulcer.

I told the customer it was out of the 'rim' of our expertise. (realm)

'Is this a real river?' (As we were standing in a lazy river that was 1 1/2 feet deep and set in a 2 story high wooden deck.)

Can we go back to the 'hot bath tub'? (hot tub)

In Your Eye!

I went to the eye doctor and had a piece of plastic stuck in my 'corneal'.

Funny

co-worker #1: "did you fall down??"
co-worker #2: "no, but my blackberry did"

I will be flying around the air.

Thanks everyone for 'expanding'!

Whatever Your Name Is...

Charles Massie = Charles Manson

Ricardo Havera = Geraldo Rivera

Isolation fan = oscillating fan

A few little ones...

Don't put the 'buggy before the cart'.

"I tried to leave it up front...and hidden"

We are having chicken 'marcel' for lunch today.

Texarkana?

I can't be in Arkansas and Texas at the same time! I can't make that stuff up!

I can't wait until this is 'overwards'.

I found out what their plan is, now I'm just trying to beat them to the 'spear'.

Cake Wrecktastic!

Happy Father's day to all those fishermen...errr...gun-toting...errr...whatever, this is supposed to be.

Thank you, Joel!

Thanks, Amanda!

My phone is 'insuperior' to your iPhone.

The facts don't support the 'argumentation'.

YUM!

My friend and her husband had a hard time 'consuming' a baby and then ended up having twins!

My pants are always too long so I get them 'alternated'.

With the mostest?

Just Another Wednesday

I think my grandmother has 'guacoma'. (glaucoma?)

I can't type the 'phonetical' emphasis of the word.

Employee 1: "Hey, a silver Range Rover in the parking lot left their lights on. You may want to send an email out notifying the owner."
Employee 2: " Where is it?"
Employee 1: "In the parking lot."
Employee 2: "What kind is it?"
Employee 1: "A Range Rover."
Employee 2: "What color is it?"
Employee 1: "Silver."
Employee 2: "Ok, I will email."

Facebook Fails

My little boy is sound to sleep.

I cooked meatloaf and green beans for supper...I am better at serial.

Looks like fun, wished I had a pool.

Please Repeat

We were confused but we got it all straightened 'up'.

My calendars are all 'running apart'.

I don't have a 'bone' in that fight.

When I go to the doctor, I am 'full down'. (very sick?)

I am going to try to remove one of them so you may 'gettification'.

What state starts with W?

Yep...Wyomy.

You are cut off!

I am so glad we got to the bar before they started charging an 'activation fee'. (cover charge)

Manyerisms = mannerisms

Does a one 'armed' duck swim in circles? (Do ducks have arms?)

So Many Today!!

The bride was wearing a 'vidal brail'.

She did a 'complete 160'.

Describing a sofa...I don’t really know, but it’s a 'cubular' shape. [pronounced: cube-u-lar]

Oldie but a Goodie

When talking about the tech depts at customer sites: " they have little people in little closets everywhere".

We need to try to 'allevlate' the situation. (alleviate)

Electronical (this one has been heard before...by a different person)

I closed two sales this month and I have two more in the 'pike'.

Carved in 'granite'.

The employment numbers were modest but nothing to get right home about. (nothing to write home about?)