Were you in the car?

WOW, he Floorboarded me when he said that!!

With Scissors?

When it is ready we will 'cut the trigger'?

Like Melted Butter

WOW, he speaks Spanish fluidly.

Play It Again!

Pick the yes or no on the 'radio' buttons.

Bus? Sword? Same thing.

"I think I forgot to follow up on that issue.  I'll just throw myself under the sword."

Are you going to eat it?

The customer needs to sign an 'assignment and consumption' agreement.


I was surprised.  It really threw me away.

Triple Treat

Do what we have to now and we may get to Phase 2 "ten miles down the lane".

I tried to pick up the 2 yr old child, but he went "boneless".  (limp)

Threw him "under the rug". (bus)

Walking In Water?

A worker paving around a newly installed pool fell in. He went instantly to the bottom and wasn't moving.  One of the other guys got him out and asked him why he didn't kick or swim to the top. He said he didn't know how to swim so he was going to sink to the bottom and walk out. 

True story. 

Train'er again, Jim!

Just heard in training class. "Just choose one of the configurisations".

Hello, Pot.

He is dumb, d-u-m-n.

From Where?

"He had a baby! Did you see the pictures?"
"From how?"

Kathy Who?

Sometimes he comes in here and doesn't say anything and sometimes he is chatter kathy.

How did he get that bruise?

He saved a building from a bunch of burning babies.

Where is your car?

"Across the street, kitty corner from the stop sign."

Got Garbage?

Do you know where a land field is where I can dump trash?

Or Green?

Everything?

Who proofread this?

Read the Bulletin!

My precious baby boy got Baptist this morning.

Full of Thanks

Friend 1: "Everyday I am great full. Especially thank full for my health."
Friend 2: "same oh same oh"

Do you have to be a grammar nazi for this to make you sad for our future?

I Love Conference Calls!

Conference Call 1

Me:  "Can you pull the migration data and send it to me?"

Programmer: "I think I can pull a quarry and will send."  

Conference Call 2      

"Are we avoiding asking the question?"  

 "Yes, I assume it is avoision."

Conference Call 3

"We are checking our backend to see if we are healthy."  

Conference calls aren't all useless. 

I think you are right...

We are working hard, but I don't think we are 'gaining any retraction'.

You'll Do No Such Thing!

We'll get that 'knocked up' for you.

What's for Dinner?

We are having butter beans, pan-fried potatoes and 'coldslaw'.

Two In One

While passing a pitcher to someone, "Go ahead and drink straight out of the cantainer."

No matter how hard you try, you can't cantainer.

Pronouced can-tainer.